A bipartisan group of legislators recently sponsored a piece of legislation with ambiguous and confusing language. The DoublePlusGood Act may or may not be used to deny legal rights to the bad people, and might-possibly-but-no-one-can-really-tell give major corporations more money and power.
Speaking under condition of anonymity, a senior senator stated "I really have no fucking idea what this bill is about but it's clear that The DoublePlusGood Act will be a good thing for this country, possibly even plusgood." When asked for clarification over what the fuck this act is about, one of the cosponsers provided key insight and understanding. "The Doubleplus Good Act will do one or more of several things; it will create jobs, ensure national security, protect our freedoms, and/or make America more American." This may sound like more trite political bullshit but Senator Rich Whitey offered a heartfelt a pinkie promise that The DPGA will be doubleplusgood for America.
When asked why they chose the name DoublePlusGood Act, Sen. Whitey stated that "The Patriot Act, The Freedom Act, and the America Act were already taken and we were running low on thinly veiled propaganda. We figured fuck it, the American people are docile enough to accept a stronger plutocracy. Anyway I've got to go, my wife wants me to fire our servants and hire new ones who will work for less." Sen. Whitey then noticed the interviewer's watch and realized his own watch was more expensive. He ended the interview saying "Fuck off, pleb".
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